Opportunity Navigator T-Shirts

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Opening the door to new customers

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

For sale

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

Doubt or Certainy

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

Career advice from the boss

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

We have plenty of people here to push paper. I need someone new to push the envelope.

Job hoppers.

"What are we doing wrong?"

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'I received matching offers.'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Just identifying weak members of the herd."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

Up

'Your career is a change management textbook.'