Opportunity Navigator Pillows

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Opening the door to new customers

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

For sale

Doubt or Certainy

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

Career advice from the boss

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

'I received matching offers.'

"What are we doing wrong?"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

We have plenty of people here to push paper. I need someone new to push the envelope.

Job hoppers.

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Just identifying weak members of the herd."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

'You'll never have to worry about me jumping ship for a better offer.'

'When I grow up, I'm going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate, and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into...'