Opportunistic Strategist Gifts

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

'These days, we don't encourage customers to make themselves at home anymore.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

'It's not a 20 year low! We've been in business only 19 years.'

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

Man selling dirt and mud.

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Stun-gun target practice.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"Peters, make a joyful noise."

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'We like to keep old timers involved in our expansion.'

Dye now, pay later!

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

'I'd like a joint account with a millionaire please.'

'I'm only interested in locating wealthy relatives.'

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .