Opinionated Enthusiast Gifts

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

Militant Pacifists

X-RAY

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

"My parents just raised my home school tuition."

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

I knew we were in uncharted waters when our chickens started asking questions like these:

"He can't speak to you at the moment - he's bonding with his compensation package."

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."