Operatic Singer Pillows

"Cut the opera, Fred, and go to sleep!"

Curtain Call

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

Demure lady with gloves

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Tut and Carmen.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Omara Portuondo

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

A Fairytale Update

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Daughters on the beach

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'