Operatic Singer Gifts

"Cut the opera, Fred, and go to sleep!"

Curtain Call

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

Demure lady with gloves

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Lennon and McCartney.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Tut and Carmen.

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Omara Portuondo

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

A Fairytale Update

EWE 2.

Daughters on the beach

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

George Michael

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"That is an outrageous slur."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'