Opera Director Gifts

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Benjamin Britten

Frederic and Mabel in love

"Looks like we found the issue."

Shepherd and eurydice

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Just be yourself."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Benedict Cumberbatch

Demure lady with gloves

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Tut and Carmen.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Golfing Boss

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Papageno from The Magic Flute