Opening A New Cafe T-Shirts

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'When things are slow'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Shaken not stirred

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"I come here for the pepper."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Ghostbasters 3

American style Greek cafe.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"I'd say business was brisk."

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Coffee Menu

"We succumbed to your hype."

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Body by Jake

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Anton's Bar and Grill

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

'It takes all day to eat it.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

Cook and Octopus

"Toby - you did book the relief chef, right?"

Ed discovers that building his greenhoue outside the leftfield wall was a huge mistake!

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

'You'll love this place - the best fish restaurant in London.'

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

Devil's Kitchen - "This soup is cold!"