Opening A New Coffee-related Business T-Shirts

Duffy's Coffee Warehouse: Ground Breaking Ceremony Monday

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Wifi in Hell

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

You've Had Enough!

Important Food Groups

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

American style Greek cafe.

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Decapitated coffee.

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

How About Serving Us For a Change

Florist "Say it with cacti"

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Body by Jake

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"For an up to date picture, I suggest we reconvene under the table."

Anton's Bar and Grill

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'