Opening A New Antique Store T-Shirts

Antique's store is a front for the city dump.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Important Food Groups

You had me at vintage.

Antiques

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"Check out this new store."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

Islington Angels.

Grandfather Clock

"I must have completely lost track of time."

"I wonder what this was for."

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

Pre-Bay

'How old is this vase?'

Hang it all; let's be gay. Come and find the phonograph.

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

Mangle