Opening A New Antique Store T-Shirts

Antique's store is a front for the city dump.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Important Food Groups

You had me at vintage.

Antiques

"Check out this new store."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

Islington Angels.

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"I wonder what this was for."

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

"I must have completely lost track of time."

Grandfather Clock

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

'How old is this vase?'

Pre-Bay

Mangle

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.