Opening A New Boutique T-Shirts

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Important Food Groups

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"Check out this new store."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Books / Coffee table books

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

Ed discovers that building his greenhoue outside the leftfield wall was a huge mistake!

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

Bob's DIY Store

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'What if we just cut back on our genres this year?'

Shop signs: then vs. now

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."

'When things are slow'

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

Tuxedo company.

Balloons vs. Rockets

"These are the least elegant one's in stock!"

'I'm brilliant, handsome and rich... but I want to be known for the suits I wear.'