Open Relationships Gifts

An Open Marriage

Love

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

In the Guru District

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Love at First Sight

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"You do like octopus?"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Romance

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."