Open Marriage Enthusiast Gifts

"Honey, I know I agreed to an open marriage, but maybe we could close it just a smidge."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

Gender Symbols

"I married for contrast."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"Tim, I'm having a problem with your marriage proposal."

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'

Old Man and Women

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"What makes a happy marriage - how should I know? Ask your mother."