Open-air Preaching Pillows

'Cult? What makes you think it's a cult?'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Night-time halo

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Thou Shalt Not!

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Dogma

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'