Online Surfer Gifts

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

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'Not that net!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

TV-Man

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Trick or Tweet

"You've got computer-breath."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

How I met your mother

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Error 404: Brain not found"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Remote control wars.

Cyber Dream

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'