Online Surfer Gifts

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

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'Not that net!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

TV-Man

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Trick or Tweet

"You've got computer-breath."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

How I met your mother

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Remote control wars.

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

Cyber Dream

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"Error 404: Brain not found"

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."