Online Quibbler Pillows

"Social media is becoming more and more complicated. How am I supposed to slip a political hate comment in a discussion about baking recipes??"

The Proust of Twitter

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

Unsocial Networking.

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"It's the first law of social media."

'Where's the cheese?'

"Bile exits the gallbladder, passes through the cystic duct, gets released into the intestines, and, ultimately, winds up on the Internet."

"I've got about 20 pages of questionable internet comments here."

"Can't you express your outrage through hate comments? Your clothing consumption is getting expensive!"

The Physicist is in

The Twitter logo with its mouth taped shut

Cull anyone who says "at the end of the day" or "To cut a long story short" more than once in a conversation.

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

'Once and for all I want to know what I'm paying for. When the electric company tells me whether light is a wave or a particle, I'll write my check.'

"Every time I get out of my political silo and try to converse respectfully with someone who has differing views, I get whacked so hard I can't see straight!"

"He seems to have drifted from online activism to couch-based complacency."

Latest social media panic...

"No now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."