Qualification Quibbler Pillows

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"...and I'm proficient in two languages ? English and text messaging."

'I got one this small.'

"Sorry, but you're overqualified."

'This is Liam, Dad, one of the few people with a degree in both tree hugging and extreme cartwheeling.'

Newly Qualified Teacher.

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

Qualifications

'Center for rat race studies'

'Where's the cheese?'

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

Cull anyone who says "at the end of the day" or "To cut a long story short" more than once in a conversation.

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

"Social media is becoming more and more complicated. How am I supposed to slip a political hate comment in a discussion about baking recipes??"

'Once and for all I want to know what I'm paying for. When the electric company tells me whether light is a wave or a particle, I'll write my check.'

'I exaggerated on my resume and I was still underqualified.'

400 words per minute! Is that typing or shredding?

"It says here 'No man is an island'. What about the Isle of Man?"

What year is this? Pardon? Aromatic. Full-bodied. Very approachable. Buttery. Swish swish swish. Yet with aggressive undertones, and an unforgiving aftertaste. Acidic after all. I should like another year. Something crisp yet dry. It's instant decaf coffee brewer with tap water! He's quite aggressive. And not so full-bodied. Pretentious people stink.

At the rubber chicken factory. . .

America's Rich Tapestry of Unemployment

Matter vs. Anti-Matter

"Pardon me...shouldn't I be ahead of you? My private plane plunged into the icy waters off the coast of Maine over a week ago!"

"Sorry, go on, I was just distracted for a moment by all my qualifications."

'With these qualifications, the only thing I can suggest is a career as a Big Issue seller.'

'You have 90 days to fix the problem, or we'll fix it, and mail you the bill!'

"Look, I say 'Star Wars' and you say 'Strategic Defense Initiative,' so let's call the whole thing off."

"The position requires a minimum of 2 GCSE's you appear to have only 10 of these 'O' Level thingies"