Online Identity Pillows

'My social network friends would never find me. They'd look for a 20 years old, slim and sporty guy with curly hair.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

Hidden Facebook Features

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

Social Influencers Anonymous.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

Internet Name Tags.

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

Gone Phishing

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

Likes Makes Right

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."