Online Humor Seeker Pillows

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

I've finally interacted with a celebrity on Twitter. Really? Tell me more. Demi Moore called me a !!@#$%?&!!

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'Fetch.'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

The Runaway Horse

Transylvanian backpackers.

Giraffe Umbrella

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

A caveman paints from life

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'