Online Filing Expert Gifts

IRS. Face it, the best we can hope is that they'll file online. They're never going to friend us on Facebook.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Pajama Day 743

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

Records?

"We need a better piling system."

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Trays 'IN' 'OUT' and 'Don't ask'

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

"Joey! We need to talk about the filing you did! You filed everything under 'Miscellaneous'!"

"I have a system."

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

Hippy at office desk with: 'Tune in/ Drop out' in/out boxes.

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

"Now to file 50 million completed Census forms"

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

'I can't find ANY of our hidden agendas!'

"May I keep this to hang up on my wall? It's a real doozy."

'So why do you want to be a filing clerk?'

"Your appointment's at 2:00 but you'll need to be here by 11:00 to start filling out the forms."

IRS. The man who audited Ernie's tax return has a second job as a chef. He's acquired a taste for this duel career. In an audit he likes peeling off the surface to see if the books have been cooked. He slices and dices every ingredient in a tax return. Then he lets you sit and stew before turning up the heat and grilling you. And a tax audit ends like the preparation of a fine dining meal, with the garnishing of wages.

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

"Sorry, Elliott, but everything in this file is to be put on microfilm."

"A robot was doing my job, but it quit."

It's our latest caseload management system, we just keep on adding files until he falls over.

'I told you that I had filed it properly. It's under 'l' for 'letters'.'

WALRUS, INC:(fish everywhere).