Filing Wizard Gifts

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Saving for College.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Don't worry dear, I made a bundle shorting your failing financial services company'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."