Online Doctor Aficionado Gifts

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Medical Examinations.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Pediatrics: Anatomy

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

Meds Toast

"He's a whiz kid."

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

'...and what's really interesting is that there's still 99.9% of the human brain we still know nothing about.'

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"It's cooties."

'Uh-oh. This doesn't bode well.'

'Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing?'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

Brain Wave Research Lab. No, Ernie, it doesn't mean that your brain has little, moving hands.

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!