Online Dating Detectives Gifts

'You're not how I imagined you'd look from your avatar, Conan.'

"There's something suspicious looking about this guy."

Right click for yes...

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"You may now kiss the bride."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"There's something you should know about me."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

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Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

Computer dating.

"So - we meet at last."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

'Well? Where is this mystery man we've been hearing so much about?'

"I'm looking for someone who werjt23609ui45y7ijopgreop[yt thinks it's cute that cat ran across the keys and I left it in."

As Tina looked more closely at her online date, she began to doubt his claim that his photo was recent.

"Your online dating profile said you were a really big dill. I thought it was a typo."