Online Date Detective Gifts

"No one ever believes me when I say I'm just looking for love."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"It all happened so fast. I met him online three years ago."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I'm in trouble now, I told this cute little terrier that I was a pedigree and now she wants to see my kennel club papers'

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'