Online Date Detective T-Shirts

"No one ever believes me when I say I'm just looking for love."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

'When it said in her profile that she's a cosmo girl, I had something entirely different in mind!'

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"It all happened so fast. I met him online three years ago."

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I'm in trouble now, I told this cute little terrier that I was a pedigree and now she wants to see my kennel club papers'

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."