Dating Detective Gifts

"Enough about me, but nothing about you just yet."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I have a surprise too. Until I really like a guy, I never give out my real name"

'And number five said in his profile that he was 6'2' and he turned out to be 5'7'.'

"I'm over guys who lie on their profile... This one says he knows the correct way to load a dishwasher and can fold a fitted sheet."

"Yours is the one with the hearing aid."

Book: Common mistakes and how to aviod them.

Milt had a friend video all of his dates so he could see where he screwed up.

'We've been through a lot in this relationship, and I feel I've matured enough to get past my fear of commitment. So, I'd like to take it to the next level - will you have a second date with me?'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Thats ok I respect your decision and I'll phone you when the three months are up."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

Before picking up a date, Doug always tested his breath on a canary that he kept in the car.

'New partner, eh? Let me just run a complimentary CRB check for you.'

"If we go halves do I still get sex afterwards?"

"Ok, so I lied about my aga!"

'OK, so I lied about my age.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Hey! Eyes up here!'

'This isn't what I expected when the dating service promised us a heavenly romance.'

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

'Well? Where is this mystery man we've been hearing so much about?'

'I'm tired of wading around in the shallow end of the gene pool.'

'I've been through all the men on the dating sites ... I need to see your male mug book.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

'It's hard to choose. Can you find out if the second one from the left is married?'

"I'll pay you $10 if you tell people I was a good date."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

Dating Agency: Closing - Everyone Must Go!

'I'll be honest, it wasn't a great first date. But hey, it wasn't bad for a last one.'

Gaydar Repair

'This bloke's perfect in every way - except... he's trying to find a partner on the internet...'

"HELEN! But I thought I'd been dating Jane!"

The troubles of being a single fish.

Janet began to suspect that you might of given out the wrong signals.