Online Articles Prints

'Gloria, what do I have to do to share a fascinating online article about the surprising ways to use watermelon?'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Stinkin' fake news!"

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Travelogue

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Ask your computer.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'I brought him the newspaper for many years: then they offered an online edition.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

Pop up begger.

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"And how do you feel when your patient does online research and thinks he's an expert?"

Social network site runs into trouble.

Today 5 -7. Meet the eAuthor.

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

Guess what else I found on Youtube, Randy? Evidence Vladimir Putin is an immortal. There are two photos of soldiers who look exactly like Putin, taken in 1941 and way back in 1920. Exactly like him. Could be they're related. The notion of genetics is a huge conspiracy by the immortals. I found that out on Youtube.

Questions Online

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

'Quick,get help! He's being dragged into a blogstorm!'

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."

'Those are interesting questions Timmy. I suggest you ask your search engine.'

Piggy bank writing an article on 'How to save Money?'

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"One moment, sweetie, I'm just asking Google how I should react."