Online News Prints

"I do think twice before believing anything I read online. I think, 'Really?' then 'o.k.'."

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Squeezing the Free Press.

They're Not Just That Into It

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

"We won!"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

CIA report

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Laughingstock

A little bird told me...

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Loan Alley

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired