Online Application Explorer Gifts

"We're a technology company, so the fact that you didn't know how to fill out an online application concerns me."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Your Future Home.

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

Computer spying.

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

"This chasing stick app makes things so much easier."

"I'd like to make a return."

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

'Today we learned if it ain't on Google, it ain't worth knowing.'

"I'm trying to find a new element."

"I'm leaving a one starfish review of this tank on Yelp."

"Amber alert... it's a new drinking app."

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

'It turns out it wasn't an Internet scam after all. It was just a really bad investment idea.'

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

"The much ballyhooed era of TV interactivity took a step closer to reality today."

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

"Mom, can we get a pet so I can use its name in answering a password security question?"

Parent and child enter library. Sign says, '30 minute time limit on the internet. Unlimited amount of time on books!

"What happened today? A bully hacked into the school electronic payments account and stole my lunch money."

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."