Online Activity Pillows

Your computer says "work," but your skin says "Facebook."

Moses on the web

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Networking

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Online Dating

"This might surprise you, but not everyone finds the smell of a rain-soaked world invigorating."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Technology and Love

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'How do I get people to visit my...'

Zoom Wedding

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

We met online.

"Have you considered vlogging?"

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?