One-man Show Fans Pillows

"My one-man band is breaking up."

Theatre Crowd

Applause

"The Just Me Band"

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"And now, with apologies to Cole Porter."

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.

"This i why I always dress in bright colors."

'If we lose the malpractice lawsuit, we can always sell it to the Bloopers Channel.'

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

One Man Band

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

Waiting for the fat lady to sing.

What's on? A duckumentary.

"Why are these reality show stars so famous? They're sneaky! They're conniving! They're evil!"