Older Sister Gifts

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

Don't mess with Granny, Sonny!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

The Role of the Firstborn

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

When Tia Carmen says... "The poorest man is not without a cent, but without a dream" it means...she spent $100 at the bingo hall and didn't win anything.

"I don't know...I just don't seem as energetic as I did 300 years ago."

'So your big sister is behind me, so what!'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Honest! Not only does my sister let Kenny kiss her like that. . . she said she actually likes it! Yecch!"

"No woman should have children over 40, that's quite enough for anybody."

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'Its only owner was a little old lady, who will still insist on driving it to church on Sundays.'

Immature Forest

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

'So, it's equal.'

'Of course not. You're the baby.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'You think little brothers are a nuisance? Try one with a drone.'

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'

'Just remember that until you grow into a huge tree, I'm the grown-up around here!'

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

'Mr. Stork, tell my little brother where he came from.'

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

Girl not wanting to stand in her sister's shadow