Old West Reenactor Gifts

'Abe knew that 'Black Jake' was deliberately trying to draw him into a gunfight, and there was nothing he could do about it'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"What?"

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

Davey Crockets Teddy Bear hat

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Wild West Text Showdown

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."