Wild West Reenactor Gifts

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'We're gonna need to be a tad bit quicker the next time we circle the wagons, Joe...'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

Davey Crockets Teddy Bear hat

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Knight school.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."