Old West Historian Mugs

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Billy. The Kid.

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

The modern sheriff.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"Trepanning for gold"

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

The corona ranger

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

Custer's Last Rollo

Jesse wished the kids would just get it over with and guess all the wrong letters in his name.

Reality Wagon Train

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

Deadwood 25 miles

"Yes, I have a home where the buffaloroam. Are you in the market?"

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

Everyone agreed big Jake was slow on the draw..But effective.

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.