Old-school Executor Pillows

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

"I want one of those. He takes notes and DOODLES at the same time."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"We have a favor to ask."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

William Tell Executions.

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'My cat died this morning. This is a legal nightmare. There are nine wills.' color

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

'Henry, I wish you weren't so cheap and would hire a divorce lawyer.'

"Heads or entrails?"

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

'Governor's Pardon is on the way, Bob. Hang in there.'

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

Bureaucratic speech

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

Congratulations you are the 10,000.

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'