Old News Enthusiast Gifts

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

Classic News.

'You've been killing files again.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Big Newspaper Delivery

Charades

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'