Old Films Gifts

Dancing Under The Air Conditioner

2 mummies...

"It's a new policy, sir. . . you have to be wither under fourteen or over fifty to rent Jerry Lewis movies."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Steve McQueen

Solar Frankenstein

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Buster Keaton

Jimmy Cagney.

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Film Star Robert de Niro

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

I'm Spartacus.

"How was prom?"

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Stan Laural & Oliver Hardy.

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"Whatcha watching, Dad?"