Old-fashioned Values Gifts

Things are changing back like the old days!

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'He Will!'

"Why, I think he's trying to impress you."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

The Club

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

Person Reading For Pleasure

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

"Eugene is retro. He thinks everything was better in low-def and black and white."

"I know it's a little old-fashioned, but I'm a Capricorn, and I thought it would be romantic if I carried you over the cusp of our First House."

"Come on. I always browse the Mom and Pop stores before buying online."

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

Something without the sexual connotation, please.

'Grandpa says there's more to life than what you see on TV. He must not have cable.'

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"I'm nostalgic for the print media."

Motherhood and Apple Pie.

Chimney Sweep

"We have all the latest technologies, but catching them still takes old fashioned footwork."

'This shirt was great back in high school and it's even better today!!!'

'Hit him again Martha he still hasn't repented...'

"Stanley, most men check their email and phone messages at the breakfast table. Why do you still insist on conversing?"

'We're half way through the nostalgia hour...but I genuinely feel it's not as good now as it was when we started.'

Progress.

"A kiss will make your boo-boo feel better...but my remedio of cayenne pepper and sugar will cure it!"

"Dad! Gracie broke my Flip Wilson lunch box!"

Bookstore: No chargers or batteries needed!

"We're pretty traditional around here. I handle everything on the domestic front except security."

Returning Home

"Back in MY day scoring was done with grease pencils."

'Do you remember Paul Waterson? He was in your class at school.' - 'Vaguely, yes.' - 'He got married last year and they had a beautiful baby girl last week. His parents are just thrilled!' - 'Oh, right.' - 'You're holding up the show. Capiche?' - 'Eh?'

When it comes to getting women's phone numbers in bars, I still do it the old-fashioned way: I use a pen and paper, not a smartphone. I'm also a traditionalist when it comes to calling after the first date: I don