Old English Enthusiast Gifts

Monk at desk, trays on desk read INETH and OUTETH.

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

Spell Cheque

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"I'm still looking, sir?"

Books of Tablets

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

"I'd like to make a return."

The Old Curiosity Shop

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

'I was a multi-millionaire back when it meant something.'

Antique silver

Phonetic Man

'What I called creative recycling the school called plagiarism.'

'But Grandma, how did you text on them?'

'Don't even think about it, Walter.'

"And what do you think my husband is worth?"

"If you get that vase, I get this bearded lamp."

"Well, Emmeline, what's new?"

Antique Ailments

"I'm a hunter-gatherer-hoarder."

"Good ephening."