Old Age Celebration Gifts

"Even your sleep is curmudgeonly."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Dating is so expensive...

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Rock and Roll

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Things I love about Powell River...

"Regular service or affected?"

Old Karate Master

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

The Final Selfie

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'

Lady about man in tutu: 'Herb is determined to age gracefully.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."