Oilman Gifts

'What do you mean don't tell anyone, we'll keep it in the bathtub?'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Spot the difference.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

Snake in the grass...

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

'No way! To fund health, education and welfare, we'd be forced to tax oil companies!'

"Yeah, OK! You surrender. We get it. That's great. Now who's in charge around here? Hello? Yoo-hoo."

Car Breast-Feeding

Take me to your leader. . .

Ethanol and foreign oil.

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

Terrorism premium on every barrel of oil.

BP Waiter: Dinner is served!

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"We need to improve our environmental credentials, tell everyone on the rigs to start using recyclable cups."

Venice Floods

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

Saudi Arabian oil attacks increase price

'Probably to put in his tank!'

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

"It's work! Look! My plan is working!"

Venezuela: 'He's got Castro's kicking style.'

'Who is to blame?'

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

"Woo-hoo!"

Energy trap.

There's no real oil emergency...

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'