Oil Industry Executive T-Shirts

Oil Spill Blame.

'So what are you complaining about, mister Let's-not-hinder-industry-with-regulations?'

'No way! To fund health, education and welfare, we'd be forced to tax oil companies!'

'Our main priority is to protect all of the innocent oil that has become caught up in this conflict.'

Office of management & budget & BIG OIL.

'We can't go on burning western flags forever, it'll send oil prices plummeting!'

Big Oil Squeeze on Globe

Spot the difference.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

US Energy Needs.

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

Libyan Crude Oil

Snake in the grass...

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

"Mr. Bush, this is Vytautas Landsbergis, in Vilnius. Guess what."

"That's not profit that's the cost of having to turn them off."

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

Ethanol and foreign oil.

Take me to your leader. . .

Car Breast-Feeding

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Keystone XL

"Potatoes...betroot...carrots...fracking..."

Terrorism premium on every barrel of oil.

BP Waiter: Dinner is served!