Oil Change Champ Gifts

Bubba gets Carpal Funnel Syndrome.

Inclusive speech

Turmoil change.

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

Human Rights

'As long as they don't touch the undeserving rich.'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

"What … have … you … done?"

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

Cartoonist Pencil

Nature Scents Research Department.

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'

"What setting do I use for this?"

"Be prepared to be hated!"

'It's true, I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub my face in it.'

Now It's Men's Turn To Be Scared

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

'If you want to save your marriage, tell each other you're sorry.' 'Youre sorry!'

"I take it you're trying to change the channel?"

Internet Uprising

Boxing Fans Discuss Labor Union Membership

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

Now that our demands have been met... could you help us up?

'We're never going to sort out our marital problems like this. Can't we speak to one of your colleagues, darling?'

'May I recommend the 2008 10W40? It's low sulfur content and viscosity make it a true steal at $39.95 a liter.'

'The bad news is that we've had to inform clients of drastic cuts to services...We managed to do it in 17 languages!'

ICE Detention Centers

"Anyway, Her Royal Highness here insists I'm sarcastic."