Offshore Escapist T-Shirts

Private Tax Haven

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Ice fisher.

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"Now you can send it."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

Saved...life is good!

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

No early morning tea past this landing

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'At least they can never accuse me of 'insider trading' again.'

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

'You mean to tell me not one of us can write the word HELP legibly?'

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

"Quick! Hide the valuables."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'