Officiating Critic Pillows

Disagreeing with the ref's decision.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Virtual Doctor

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

Final words on gravestones.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Alms Bank

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

Who's In Charge Here?

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

Clarence Thomas

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

Audiovisual law

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

Critics In Love

'As it turned out, circumstantial evidence was all they needed.'

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

Selling Justice

'Oh great, not him. That lawyer is as crooked as them come. We're screwed.'

QC appointments fall to all time low.