Officiating Critic Gifts

Disagreeing with the ref's decision.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Virtual Doctor

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

The Jose Padilla Experience

Final words on gravestones.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Alms Bank

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

Who's In Charge Here?

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

Clarence Thomas

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

Audiovisual law

'As it turned out, circumstantial evidence was all they needed.'

Critics In Love

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

"I just love your use of lying"

'Oh great, not him. That lawyer is as crooked as them come. We're screwed.'