Office Politics Critic Pillows

'We really should bring in a consultant, to share the blame.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Welcome to the future"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."