Offices Gifts

'The numbers aren't working.'

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

"Buster, run this past legal."

'OK, but if I tell you what's going on, you have to promise not to overreact.'

welcome / Good riddance: "Over here. That's the back door."

"Yes, we eliminated the dress code, but I see you didn't fully understand."

'I know I'm the last one in each morning, but I make up for it by being the first one to leave.'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

Express Elevator.

"Bob returned to the office after the shut down and found his lucky bamboo plant had flourished."

'You must be the new guy, huh?'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'Mrs Sparby realized she didn't have the right personality to be a receptionist, but she was able to improvise and keep her job.'

'Not now, Harry. I'm on hold.'

'Ted, meet Sneeze-A-Lot, Bad Cough, and Tummy Rumble. I'm bad with names but I never forget a bodily function.'

'Felton,has it occured to you that you may have taken a talent for self-effacement a bit too far?'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'Don't worry about lunch for me today Simpkins, I've brought my own.'

"Yesterday I got out at the wrong floor and worked a full day for a firm I'd never heard of..."

'If you're trying to sneak out of work, you should at least get your coordinates right.'

'That holds the ashes of my former business partner. He was always looking for ways to downsize.'

"Take a letter to the window cleaning company...."

'I asked JB but he refused to fall on his sword.'

I frame all yours, JB.

"Did you hear the good news? We're engaged to become work spouses."

'How long have you been with this company, Holbrook?'

Out to Lunch. Please take a number, jump through hoop and sit down.

We need someone to take the ball and run with it. Then, you know, run back with it so we can throw it again.

He can shake, he can speak, and he can bill …

Elevator/Open Range

"Cushy job, corner office with a view - everything you've ever wanted is just through those windows."

'There's no fool like an old fool, Hayostek, but some of you young fellas show real promise.'

Upside down elevator.

Trendies, INC

"I've got the Los Angeles office on the line. Does anyone need avocados?"