Office Wit Appreciator Pillows

-"People are our second most important asset." -"And our first? Money I suppose."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cat Burglar

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Voltaire

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

'The negotiations were really tough this year...but the good news is that we managed to hang on to ALL the extra work!'